Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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