She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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