he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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