Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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