covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize