whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
