weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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