I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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