Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
