I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
