I accidentally burped into my bong.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
