that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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