Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
