Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
