That's intense
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
