But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
