so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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