Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
