Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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