I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
