He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
