So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
