the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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