If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
