i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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