I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
