I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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