Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
