I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
