don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
