All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
