Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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