The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
