Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
