Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
