Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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