sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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