Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
