Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
