its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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