I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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