dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
Randomize
