Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
