just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Someone shit on the floor
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
