Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
