Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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