At least make sure they are 18
Why
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
