Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
