Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
