She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
