There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize