Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
