she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I would ride that face into the sunset
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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