I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
