Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize