Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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