is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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