Just fell off a train. Bad.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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