doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
