is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
