I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
