I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
