Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize