My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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