Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
