My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
