There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Im part way to drunk.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize