my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
