We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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