I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
